Pointe Break
There’s a trending dialogue surrounding aging, and especially women aging, and how we’re expected to race the clock, searching high and low for all things ageless and anti-aging until we fall head first into some proverbial fountain of youth. For me, the word anti-aging itself feels ridiculous. There is no “cure” to aging. We’re all doing it right this very second. I try living life these days, in my 50s, surrounded by joy rather than fear. A great example of that is my recent surf photography workshop trip to Indonesia for my 56th birthday. I assumed I’d be the oldest person there, and I was cool with that. How crazy that not one but two 56-year-old women flew to the other side of the world, slipped into bathing suits, gripped a couple of cameras, and then jumped off a boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean, and together discovered the fountain of youth.
Rachel, you and I met in Indonesia at a surf photography workshop back in early March. I honestly hesitated about going, right up until the moment I got off the plane in Lombok. I assumed I’d be the oldest person in the group, and although I’m quite comfortable with my age, the whole thing felt unnerving. But I made room for a lot of vulnerability with this adventure, and then there you were, and we were two fifty-six year old women traveling to Indonesia to photograph surfers in the Indian Ocean. Who would’ve guessed it! Tell me how you found the workshop, decided to do it, and your thoughts around age and expectations of the experience.
RW: I know how you feel! I was also unsure about traveling to the other side of the world to subject myself to surviving in waves at a surf line-up! I was afraid I might not be able to tread water long enough, duck-dive under the waves successfully, or that a sharp-finned surfboard would run me over. I had recently bought a water housing for my camera, but the technical learning curve for me with the new gear in the ocean was very challenging. So, when I saw on Instagram that Tommy Pierucki and fellow photographer Ana Catarina were offering a surf photography workshop, I jumped at the opportunity, not believing I would become an in-water surf photographer, but trying not to overthink it.
Once the trip date grew closer, I realized that most of the other class members were much younger than me. At 56 years old, I don't believe age is a factor that keeps me from doing what I want. Even so, I was grateful to have another courageous woman my age by my side for this adventure! After we met, you said to me, “Menopause is my superpower,” and I couldn’t have agreed more. This same attitude helped me to sign up for the class. The beauty of “growing up” (as my friend calls it) is that I am less self-conscious about making mistakes than I was when I was younger. I feel more self-confident, curious about the world, and less afraid to take risks or ask for help. I also have more free time now that my three children are grown. Getting older means I don’t want to waste time or energy on things that don’t excite me. I fear missing out on all the adventure and beauty life offers more than trying something new. That’s why I had to take advantage of this unique opportunity to learn about surf photography from the water.
Have you always had an intimate relationship with the ocean?
RW: No, only in my later adult years did I spend much time in the sea. Even though I grew up on the coast of Northern California, I rarely went in the ocean because it was freezing and full of Great White sharks! In my small town during the 1980s, only the boys seemed to be surfers. I hardly went to the beach and wasn’t even aware of California surf culture back then.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s, when I learned to scuba dive, that I truly put my head underwater. I love diving because it makes me feel like flying through a completely foreign aquatic world, seeing the magical, surreal marine life up close. Later, while living in Los Angeles with young children, we had a sailboat for a few years, and I enjoyed getting out on the ocean to see the dolphins and whales as we sailed to Catalina Island. I only wish I had been a photographer then.
At age 44, I rode a wave for the first time. My friend had arranged a surf lesson for my three children while we were in Hawaii. The lesson was not meant for me, but after much convincing from my kids, I joined them. That day turned out to be the first day of my new life. The free feeling that came with riding a wave, even a little two-foot one, helped to lift me out of the grief I was going through over the end of my 20-year marriage. The fear I felt when the waves tumbled me, held me under, and dragged me forever was tempered by a few brief seconds of the incredible sensation of riding harnessed energy from the sea. That first time on a surfboard gave me a new sense of happiness, confidence, and inner peace that I had never entirely experienced before.
When I returned home, I wondered how I could have lived so close to the sea for so many years and never noticed the surfers riding waves as I drove my daily commute along the coast. I seldom set foot in the Pacific Ocean, only blocks from home. For so long, I had been consumed with city life and my career as a dancer, followed by diapers, carpools, and putting dinner on the table. I never took the time to enjoy all that the ocean had to offer. Now, the sea has been integral to my life ever since that first Hawaiian wave. Even though I consider myself a consummate novice surfer, the beauty of being in or beside the ocean is essential to my well-being as a person and photographer.
You have a background in ballet. Talk about that. How long was your career? And when did you decide to change paths and become a photographer? Did you start your photography journey by shooting ballet?
RW: When my mother turned 40, she started taking ballet classes. She would dance around the kitchen in her pointe shoes and made it look so fun that I began ballet then, too. Even though I started late at 11 years old, I took it very seriously and was fortunate to have excellent training early on. I wanted to be a professional ballerina, but I grew to be 5’ 9”, which was considered too tall for classical ballet. At the last minute, I changed course and went to college instead. There, I studied International Relations and was introduced to modern dance, where I performed in the student dance company. During the summers, I studied dance in New York City. Luckily, my height was not as much of an issue in the world of contemporary ballet.
After college, I moved to Los Angeles and danced in various regional dance companies, ultimately landing at Los Angeles Chamber Ballet, where my classical and modern dance training came to good use. I stopped dancing professionally when I became pregnant with my second child. Having a toddler, a new baby on the way, and dancing was too much for me to handle at once. The dance world is highly exacting, physically and mentally, and I preferred spending time with my growing children.
I first picked up a camera when I turned 50. It wasn’t to photograph dancers but to document women surfers in my community. While learning to surf at my home breaks in Los Angeles, I came to admire other middle-aged women surfers I met at the beach. As a novice surfer, I was intrigued by their strength and courage in the waves, and I wanted to learn more about their lives and how surfing fit into them. I had an idea for a book about them and asked my sister, an experienced photojournalist, to photograph these women while I interviewed them. She wasn’t interested, so I naively thought I would just go ahead and photograph them myself. How hard could it be? Well, six years and many photography classes and hours of practice later, I am still learning how difficult it is to take a good photograph! I also still hope to complete that book…
As I delved deeper into the study of photography, I found that I am primarily interested in subjects related to the natural world, including the ocean. I’ve spent countless hours at the beach playing with my camera, watching the sea, and shooting surfers from the shore. Capturing surfers seems to be a perfect union of my love of nature, especially the ocean, and my passion for dance.
I remember how nervous you were those first few days about shooting in the water. At some point you definitely found your sweet spot and relaxed. Later when you shared your photos from the in water shoots, I was blown away by your incredible dreamy images. It looked like you’d been doing it your whole life. When did you decide to merge your relationships with water and photography? And what has that evolution looked like with shooting on land and now in the water too?
RW: Thank you, Riley! And, yes… I was out of my comfort zone in the waves that first day! I remember we were asked to share what we wanted from the workshop, and I said I wanted to stay alive and not get injured. It was funny, but I wasn’t kidding! Having spent more than ten years learning to surf and SUP as a middle-aged woman, I have had my share of injuries and accidents in the water, including a severe injury that took six months until I could walk normally again. I have a lot of respect for the power of the ocean these days, which always seems to remind me that we are not in control.
As a photographer, I’ve been obsessed with observing and trying to capture the ocean for years. I have spent many days paddle boarding through the most amazing giant kelp forests here in California or looking straight down into the sea from the top of the pier, wishing I could capture the ocean’s beauty more directly. It seemed that the natural next step for me was to submerge my camera and myself directly into the sea. I never thought I would be brave enough to get in the waves with the surfers.
I signed up for this workshop to learn how to stay safe in the water and to know more about the gear and technique. After the first day, I realized that staying on the shoulder of the waves was not giving me the images I wanted. I had to be braver! With the support of our excellent instructors, I finally got into the impact zone. I mostly tried to remain calm in the crashing waves and didn’t know what my photos would be like. It was a massive feat of courage for me since I am not a strong ocean swimmer, but I was pleasantly surprised by my image results. I am unsure how it happened, especially since it felt like I was mostly shooting while submerged. Still, my prior photography experience and our excellent instruction made all the difference. I am now encouraged to get in the ocean alone at my home surf break and practice all I learned.
Striking similarities show in your ballet photography and your surf photography. You have a very unique style. I feel like there’s already this vision in your mind before you even begin shooting. Can you talk more about that and the way you use a slow shutter speed to create another level of movement and depth in your images?
RW: Yes, you are right. I do have an objective in mind before I go out to shoot, and I’ve been working on this vision for years. As a photographer, I am obsessed with seeing, capturing, and pulling apart movement. Whether it’s the motion of the sea, surfers riding waves, or dancers traveling through space, I am fascinated with examining movement as it travels in front of my camera lens. Slowing down the shutter speed offers me a way to play with the passage of time, offering a new perspective into its innate quality of impermanence.
My early training as a dancer taught me how to look and visually comprehend the human body in motion in a manner that has crossed over to my photographic interests and observations. I can’t help but presume that the way my eye sees movement is greatly affected by my many years in the ballet world.
As a photographer, I am intrigued by the active tension in images that capture motion in the inherently static medium of still photography. The camera offers me insight into the progression of time and existence: past, present, and future. Through my lens, the ever-changing conditions of the natural world, the light quality throughout the day, and the varying seasons provide me with seemingly limitless artistic inspiration and joy. I am very fortunate to have found this medium of expression at this point in my life.
We both talked about our daughters on the trip–Mom bonding is the best :). It’s obvious you are close like Jordan and I. How old are your daughters? What are their thoughts on their mom being a surf photographer? And what did they think about the Indo trip?
RW: Yes, I have two daughters, ages 20 and 27, and one son, who is 25. Being a mother, in general, can be challenging, but it brings its unique rewards. I love getting to know them as adults and genuinely value their ideas, creativity, and strength. All my children seem proud of me for pursuing my goals and pushing my boundaries, especially for getting in the waves with my camera in Indonesia. I think they are happy I have something I’m passionate about.
For my daughters, I think it’s important for them to see their mother begin a new path in middle age. My mother was a fantastic role model to me. She followed her passion with an open mind while facing new frontiers, always exploring while staying true to her values. I hope to be a similar example to my children.
Do you travel often? If so, do you choose places based on what and where you want to shoot? Where has been your favorite place you’ve traveled so far?
RW: I love to travel. Now that I don’t have to follow my kids’ school calendar, I am freer than ever to explore the world. I especially love ocean adventures like sailing, diving, paddle boarding, surfing, and now water photography. One of my favorite ways to travel is taking photo classes, and I hope to do more. I’ve been lucky to visit Fiji, Tahiti, Hawaii, and the Caribbean, which have the most gorgeous ocean colors. Anywhere by the sea, especially as a photographer, works for me.
You talked in the beginning of our interview about being in this stage of life where you’re putting yourself first. Was that a hard transition and how did you manage it? In the words of Mary Oliver, tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
RW: After 25 years of being a full-time stay-at-home mom, I feel I was there for my children when they needed me most, and now I enjoy the freedom that comes with an “empty nest.” When I was young, I had a ballet teacher who told us that each time we did a correct demi-plié at the ballet barre, we would reap the rewards later on stage. In other words, being present and trying your best daily brings a secure foundation for the future. I feel that I am reaping the rewards of motherhood and can now really enjoy this new stage in life. Discovering photography has also been an enormous gift during this time of transition, giving me a new sense of self and purpose.
My life plans? Since you bring up the beloved poet Mary Oliver, I wouldn’t be able to answer better than she:
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
Love what it loves…” - Wild Geese
What are two or three things you know for sure?
RW: Follow your heart; it’s all about love.